“I get no respect here” was his cry as he walked out the door. Frustrated with their life they appeared to be in their own worlds, suffering silently by themselves, with no help in sight. How did we get this far and how do we get back to where we need to be going?

I recently was coaching a young man who was so frustrated that his wife would not support him or show her belief in him. He desired to start a new business venture to improve their life and build a better future and was all enthusiastic. Why wasn’t she?

“Why won’t she support me”? he asked. I said, well you are just getting started and you need to give her a little time to come along. Perhaps your past track record with her hasn’t been so great, when it comes to follow through. What things can she see in your daily routine that show her you are deserving of her support with what you say. Or does she quietly think “oh sure, talks cheap,blah blah blah” . . . .

I mentioned “have you observed society today”? Does it seem we are void of “real men” that are the warriors for their spouse and family? Today there are millions of kids who live in homes without a father. They were voluntarily abandoned because the “man” didn’t want the responsibility and needed to go play some more.

So having said that, what sets you apart from the masses? from the rest of the “boys”? Do you still put your own desires and pleasures before your obligations, before your promises, before your vows?

So what do you show her with your actions that you are deserving of all this support? I have found out that in most cases, that it is NOT that the woman is “not supporting” but cautious about getting her hopes up. That may have been triggered by how she was brought up. She observed situations to cause this as the “safe” default mode and not necessarily a reflection on you. A way to protect “her feelings”

Try something most guys don’t do first, talk with her! You mean, like I do with my buds at work, exactly pal! When you share your heart with her, and your dreams “for her,” to create the kind of life you desire I believe you will begin to fan the sparks of unconditional support that will encourage her and you. But you must follow through, to keep that fire of hope in her burning.

As you grow yourself personally, reading good books, better association of friends etc. and I must include a strong spiritual foundation, you will begin to get a picture of what you want to become, which is a life journey.

You ARE becoming the knight  and warrior of her dreams, and more important the “knight of her heart“. She will look at you with eyes of love and respect, and a desire for you, that very few “men” ever experience in their relationship. She will trust you with her very life, and heart, because  you have proven yourself worthy. She has watched you put your selfishness aside and in so doing  you have  shown that she is cherished above all. She will be so proud to stand by your side!

She has experienced seeing you risk, and do the uncomfortable, to bring her and your family a legacy of honor by becoming a “Man of his word”

You can stand proud and tall my friend, and your family and friends call themselves blessed to know you. You are an example, for others, in a world that has the largest void of “real men” You have taught by your example and modeling is the highest level of teaching.

My challenge to you is: Look around, “who is watching you, and are becoming their “real life hero”? Perhaps they live under your roof !

I was  recently asked to speak to a group of sharp, young bright eyed, college seniors at Cal Poly University ready to take on the world. I saw in many of their eyes some of the same things my generation, and others I am sure, has experienced, Where do I go from here?

As I looked around the room, you had the usual combination, those with the confidence to take on the world and others that weren’t so sure of really where they were going. I respected, and was impressed with, every one of them! I could also sense the respect the students had for Dr.Whitson, their professor.  She had helped “beyond average” to prepare them for their future endeavors, and it showed.

My journey has taught me that the “Class is always in Session through life’s journey. You never stop learning, and most lessons begin after you get that diploma. Does that education really prepare them for that next step, I don’t know, what step are we talking about? Where will that confidence be a year or so from now?

Who has made themselves available to mentor them, to encourage them, to keep the dream alive that was birthed in them? These are the the stewards of the future and we all have a stake in that future and a responsibility to see that they make it!

It’s their turn, and their dreams for a better life, to impact the world with their talents. To create and live a life of significance that they will be proud to pass on to future generations,  like we have been the recipients of those before us.

Who is fanning the sparks of their hopes and dreams with encouragement and optimism that “THEY MATTER” and that  “THEIR LIFE” can and will make a difference!  Yes, “YOU can make and are making difference” should be our on going cry to them.

What if my generation was the last, and we had no one to share our past experiences with, no one to help prepare for the future, no one to pour into, no one to energize us with their hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow?

We learn and keep on learning so we can have something to offer and pass on to the next generation and the next. To show them to hunger, for more ways we can serve our fellow travelers in life. Servant leadership is best modeled by how we live. “Don’t tell me, show me”

It’s not about me and it’s not about you! It’s about us, and how we can work together, to celebrate each others talents and not try to change them to be “just like us” because in so doing we cloud their vision, stifle their calling and the contribution they were to make.

Helicopter parenting is a common term today describing someone that just hovers over all the time, controlling, criticizing, and yes even complaining but never uplifting. What a waste!

I remember the mistakes I made when I was a young entrepreneur.Those have served me well over the years and have helped me help countless others because of them. Failure is not fatal, but constant reminders of the critics, of those on the sidelines of life that have never made a contribution of significance, can wear you down IF YOU LET THEM! Don’t let THEM!

Be all you can be, no matter what age you are, it’s never too late as long as your willing to keep learning and keep on dreaming!

With each sunrise life says “Good Morning Class”. . . . . . . ready for a new lesson?

Ever seem a little overwhelmed with too much to do. Thinking its all important, and that you can’t really afford to neglect any of them too long without great consequence? well you’re probably right!

Here is a simple idea I heard about years ago that might help you.I am a visual learner and do much better with pictures, maybe you do too!

Picture a big empty jar, now lets see how much we can get in that jar.

Big Rocks First

First, let’s put in some of the “Big Rocks”. Those will represent the most important things in your life to commit your time to and can’t really neglect. These are  things like Family, occupation, health, spiritual life, time off to restore self, etc.

Now that you have it filled with the “important things” you can add other things now by using gravel. That would represent things that aren’t really that important but would be nice to have as part of your life’s journey, after you have taken care of those important “quality of life” things.

OK, what else can you get in that jar? How about sand that would work nicely around the Big Rocks and the gravel. The sand could represent things that are just “stuff” that fills our life but not much to build our life on. You and I have seen what happens when we build our life on sand right?

Well back to the jar, does it look like you have a full jar or what? Not quite, you can still add water to the jar. And I bet you thought after the big rocks, gravel and sand that’s it, Not!  So the water can represent the insignificant things, you know like the stuff everyone else is trying to get you to do for them that they can do just as easily themselves, TIP!

Well you might go get that jar now, get some rocks about 5 or 6 and write on the rocks those things that are most important to you, that only you can do, and in some cases only, you should do. Remember its your jar, I mean life, fill it in the way that you live by your  vision and values and the  result should be with a life of no regrets.

When you have someone persist to try to make or guilt you into fitting in “their rocks” point to the jar and say “sorry we are full, no vacancy“  If your name is not on the rocks  you’ll have to wait.  Pay attention to the “Big Rocks” and your regrets in life will be few. “Rock On”

It’s a busy world out there and if I am not careful I can get sucked into the fast lane of going no where fast, with the rest of the pleasure seekers out there.

How much more can we pack into our lives? It is evident with all the things we collect and put in storage units that it never seems like enough. Are we trying to fill some void with all that stuff or over activity? Perhaps!

Why not say enough is enough! Time to stop all the madness and start to focus on the activities that will make a difference five, ten years and beyond.

It appears we are capable of being held captive with activities of our own choosing or by what others think we should be doing, to suck us into their busyness and going no where fast.

I have discovered an interesting word in the English language that really simplifies my life in a instant and is so empowering whenever I do use it.

If you’re like me it surprises many people when it comes out, almost with a look of  “who passed gas”. You should try it sometime! Take a deep breath, it might be tough to get it out in one breath, but so worth the risk! Ready ?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ! Well, you still breathing? check your pulse !  Aaaah didn’t that feel great? Remember practice doesn’t make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect.

Like the the buffet plate, it’s not so much about the stuff on the plate but “is it the “right stuff or activity“. A breakthrough wisdom moment for me was to realize “activity does not mean productivity”. I refused to be held in   Captivity of Activity, to be precise the wrong activity. How about you?

Are the activities that need to be done clear and spelled out? Do you have a mentor or coach to help you clear things up?

I read once that “when going through life don’t wear two catchers mitts, always be prepared to throw/give something back” It’s not how much you’ve got but how much you gave back that make the difference.

At the end of the day your investment in others will  bring your greatest reward, trust me on that one, ask my kids.

I have struggled all  my life with reading and comprehension. I can read a chapter and 15 minutes later I couldn’t tell you much about what I just read. Now my darling wife has a steel trap mind for recall. I find myself having to underline and high lite and make notes in the margins to remind myself of things of value needed to equip me and those I lead.

Looking in my study you would not think that about me by looking at all the books I have. I read a lot, no question, but it’s the remembering, now that is a struggle. For most part school just didn’t seem to be my thing.

First grade was the longest two years of my life, so not off to a good start here buzz. As I struggled through school I would do anything to avoid the pain and embarrassment by missing school as much as possible. Not a real good idea if you plan to finish school, which I did with a 2.5 grade average.

Years later I got around people that would say readers are leaders, and what you will become is determined by the books you read and the people you associate with. Well that was explaining why I had not gotten any further than I thought I should have just with hard work.

My life plateau was caused by lack of knowledge. You don’t know what you don’t know because if you did know then you would know to do things different, you know! So many books, where do you begin?

Well I see it  like planning a trip, you pack according to the journey and the the final destination in mind. For a beginner I would recommend start reading things that you enjoy, sorry guys fold outs not considered reading. What interests do you have and keep it fun.

Start a bookshelf for the year with a goal to read at least one book a month on topics that will help you on your quest of personal growth and discovery to become all God created you to be. You are unique in every way, there is none other like you. How would it feel to see that shelf start to fill up as the year goes on?

I found out that as I read more my mind’s eye opened up to the possibilities of a great new undiscovered world that I had never experienced and I could be part of. I also discovered things to avoid as well. Have you ever started reading something that you thought only you ever thought about or experienced and here is someone writing about thoughts you had ? Wow.

I just recently read the book “The Slight Edge” by Jeff Olson for the third time, it has really opened up new perspectives for me and those I lead and mentor. The breakthrough on this book for me is that it reminded me that the journey is discovering the simple steps to take over time that are easy “to do” and easy “not to” that make all the difference.

I would put it in the top  books that have had a great impact on me personally. The other 6 books would probably be “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Carnegie, “The Magic of Thinking Big” by Schwartz, “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen, “Sequoia Size Success” by Paul Tsika, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill and I could not leave out my” Bible“, as really my first.

You will have your own favorites, the point is simple computer jargin, garbage in, garbage out! Good stuff in, good stuff out. When working with new college grads the last thing it appears they want is to read another book.

Do you think at that point you have learned all that you need to? Hey just take a break but get back on the learning trail as soon as you can and leave the competition in the dust!

That attitude, if turned into a habit, will eventually cause a plateau in life because we never stop learning and if you feel you have plateaued start a reading program for personal development.

It’s the slight edge in life that others don’t choose to stick with that could just make you the expert in your field long term. If they ask what are you doing different?

Throw the book at em

Is your plate too full ? So what is on your plate, and who put it there?

One of the most common things I have heard from coaching people is that they are busier than ever with not much to show for all that effort, and still “feeling hungry”

It’s not so much of all “that stuff” on our plates as much as  is it “the right stuff”? Did we allow someone else to pile it on? Who put this on here?

Ever notice when you go to a buffet how things are arranged.You start with the salads, the cheese potatoes, the veggies stuff, then finally ‘Where is the beef”? at the very end!

And those desserts! It seems there is always room for that favorite one like “warm bread pudding” with that great sauce on top or how about “layered chocolate cake” or tiramisu or creme brulee?

Yes, I am recovering “dessertaholic” and proud of it!

Wrong thinking gets us into trouble every time. Because if you start at the wrong end of the “buffet of life” you won’t have what is necessary to sustain you  for the journey.

Start out with the what your instincts tell you is “good for you” . You already know because it’s usually the stuff you didn’t like as a kid.

In life you find out “mom knew” what she was talking about, and really wasn’t trying to kill you with those veggies after all. “Thanks MOM”

But really, what should be on your plate?  Balance, more time with those important to you, is that what you want? Like saving room for that dessert!

I read somewhere that the “excess” in our life usually is rooted somewhere in emptiness. Having a full plate  and still “feeling empty” or hungry, might be rooted in some void we have or something we look to avoid.

MY breakthrough came when I decided that it was my plate! And Why would I let anyone fill my plate with what they thought I should have on it, only to resent them.

What a relief, to start clearing things off the plate that had no benefits to me or those close to me.

How about your plate, maybe it’s time to start and take a look at that plate. Make better  choices, this go around, that will be better for you and those that are most important to you.

Now, let’s get that dessert and remember what  mom said “be sure to share with the other kids”.

Share your dessert, aka time, and you will build lifelong memories that will feed you and those you love a long time!

When our plate is full with the “right stuff” we can tell, as we feast away, this tastes “really really good” Let’s go back for seconds, or thirds  . . . .

Bon Appetit!

I really enjoy traveling, it is one of my favorite things to do. Having been to so many wonderful locations around the world for both pleasure including some speaking engagements.

Getting there is half the fun because of the many people you meet along the way. On a recent trip to El Paso, to speak to a group of future business leaders, I was going through the usual airport security and I noticed the new changes in the scanning or screening of passengers.

I thought what an idea. What if we could scan our personal lives for harmful things we might be carrying, that would be hurtful to ourselves and those we love around us as we travel about.

You know, the emotional baggage of an unfriendly past or some undeserving limitation put upon us. The things not obvious to the masses.

Al’s Personal Perspective:

The new passenger screening and baggage limitations has me reevaluate my own life. To put a  limit on the the baggage  to take with me on my life journey.

Today the price tag for just having bags, plus over weight or over sized bags, should make us  look at the impact, or price tag, on our personal lives of carrying over sized bags.

You know, “the stuff” that holds us back or slows us down.

Extra bags reduce the ability of how fast I can move on my travels, so they become  “things that hinder” my progress towards the desired destination.

What’s in your bag? Perhaps pointless associations of people that are takers in life rather givers. You know, the ones that aren’t and haven’t gone any where!  Are you a  “people pleaser” ? Count on being taken advantage of, sometimes without even being aware, until its to late. Just more baggage to slow you down.

Takers can somehow spot “people pleasers” and take advantage of you, they will!  They’re experts at using others for their own gain. They can also be the ones that appear to work for “Guilt Trips & Co”.

Maybe its time to look at the relationships that matter the most and stop putting into those that take from you and give nothing in return.

The Power of association is overlooked as we get older and complacency sets in. Funny how we use a double standard with our kids, as we protect them from associations that are harmful influence and not consider it for ourselves.

If there is one thing I can point to that keeps most people from becoming “all they can be” it’s this fact . . . .

“ you become who you associate with” and have most likely accepted it because “that’s just the way it is”! remember its your choice.

You also are held back by not associating with the right people.You have to let go to go up.

What’s funny is that in all the world traveling I have done, I have never stopped anyone, or have been stopped by anyone, for carrying too much or too big of a bag. I must admit I envy someone that can go globe trotting with a back pack!

Do you know why we don’t stop people with the drooped shoulders with those large bags? It’s their bag!

“Why are we carrying all this stuff” Perhaps an unclear picture of where we are going and what is really necessary for the trip.

So what’s in your bags? Where are you going? How fast would you like to get there.

When doing international travel it was the first time I ever heard “did you pack your own bag”?Why would I let anyone pack my bags for me? How would they know what I need? Precisely.

Like they say at the airport “ some bags appear to look similar” look at the tag, and carry your own bag.  Mine says Al Gallo, I grab it and move on down the road to discover some more “breakthrough wisdom”

Happy trails to you!

Welcome to Breakthrough Wisdom. I look forward to sharing with you some of my experiences and those of others I have gleaned over the years, as a young man, husband , father, entrepreneur, mentor and also life coach to many.

Many of us have had breakthroughs somewhere in our life journey that would point to an awareness of how things were done to reveal a new, enlightened way of doing things.

Breakthrough insights can illuminate our paths to great victories or, if ignored, can cause us to be victims in life, depending how we allow them to affect us.

I have heard that “maturity comes with age”: well I have seen age come along  and maturity seems no where in sight.

The “things that hinder” most people are the self imposed limitations that many times block us from seeing opportunities, because of how we see ourselves or how we have allowed others to label us.

Those “self-imposed” limitations, that hold us prisoner, are many times familiar to spot by others that have experienced their own breakthroughs in the past. These people are a great source of perspective, as long as their motives are purely for your personal benefit.

On my journey I have been fortunate, and grateful, for the people that have come along and offered their help and insights to help me get to the next level.

I read somewhere that “if you went down a country road and saw a turtle on top of a fence post,you know he got help”. I was, and still am, that turtle. In other words, I got help to get where I wanted to go because I couldn’t do it on my own.

It helps to ask for directions, much better if the person you are asking has “been there, done that”.

For many of us, that opportunity seems to never show up or we didn’t recognize it as ” the chance we were looking for” when it was presented to us. Pride can be strange thing.

My journey has brought me through many experiences up to this point, some I would rather not repeat and others that would be a welcome sight.

All of my experiences today are valued because they are the ones that molded me into who I am. I heard a wise man say “learning from others experiences” is the best way to learn.

As a young boy, the journey to come to America from Europe is one that I will always vividly remember. The preparation and sacrifice that I saw my parents go through was a useful lesson. I would glean  great insights that would serve me well years to come.

Through all  that they went through, seeking to provide a better opportunity for their 6 kids, I saw that the better choices, not the easy choices, can be painful to make. That’s why most people avoid better choices; the pain doesn’t appear to justify the gain, or it really didn’t hurt bad enough.

As they say “if nothing changes,nothing changes”

I will cover many different topics that will hopefully bless you and help you along as we travel this journey of “discovering breakthroughs”.

As fellow travelers in life we will discover “things that hinder” and others that build, including “fence post experiences”.

So Welcome to Al Gallo’s newest breakthrough, the launch of   www.breakthroughwisdom.com